Happy Belated Father's Day to Cliff!

Lilia absolutely LOVES her daddy. She likes to give him hugs!
Here is a recent picture of her getting a bath. She actually seems to enjoy her baths now. I think she really enjoys having her scalp shampooed and massaged. It must be all of those baths I took while I was pregnant....
A NAVY baby!
This was taken the last day that Cliff got to see Lilia before he left for his summer cruise. Ironically she was discharged from the hospital the next day :(

Father/ daughter bonding :)

Cliff has been gone a week now and it already feels like a CENTURY! I miss him a ton and I know Lilia does too. Cliff has been such a fantastic father to her already. He was absolutely incredible with her and with me during Lilia's time in the hospital. Cliff would wake up every three hrs with me at night and set up the breast pump and then wait for me to finish. After I was finished he would let me go back to sleep while he washed and sterilized everything. He even set an alarm so we wouldn't miss a pumping. He is so devoted to this little family. Cliff always takes over the burping duty when he is around and he loves to hold Lilia until she falls asleep. My FAVORITE thing, though, is to hear him sing to Lilia in Spanish. We would very much like to raise her bi-lingual and I think Cliff has us off to a good start. He only speaks to her in Spanish. She stares at him so intently when he sings or speaks too. I think that is because he used to sing to her when she was inside me all the time. I really couldn't have asked for a better husband in this life and Lilia couldn't possibly have gotten a better father. We are two very lucky girls. I am so grateful for Cliff and for the sacrifices that he makes for us. I miss him a lot but I know that we are blessed to have a job right now with the way the economy is and a good job at that. Thank you Cliff! You are the best!!

1 Month... and what a month it has been

I'm home from the hospital!! With my Mama Gia!

Disclaimer: The following pictures are from most recent to oldest.

Guess I should have turned this around...
Getting healthier day by day
Holding daddy's hand
My daddy has the most fascinating nose!
Sleeping on the soft hospital towels
Flying in my sleep?
First day at the hospital... not such a good day.
All hooked up
Poor little sweetie :(
Before I got sick! This is my mama's favorite outfit! (She's already outgrowing it)
Don't I look cute in green?
Victorian baby
Peeling feet!
I like to sleep with my hand by my face
Happy girl!
Giving daddy a hug :)
They're related :)


So Lilia is exactly a month old today and what a fun surprise - she got to come home today! Unfortunately today was also the day that Cliff set out for his summer cruise and he didn't get to see her before he left. He did get to spend a lot of time with her this weekend, though. She will be thrilled to see him again in a few months :)

Here are some updates on our little lady:

- She is getting stronger and stronger and she lifts her head well.
- While nursing, she drinks way too fast and often chokes. This scares me half to death every time. Sometimes she will also pull away without me noticing right away and she will get sprayed in the face. This is both funny... and kind of sad.
- She is smiling! I don't care what people say - she is absolutely smiling. At first I know it was just gas but this past week she has been reacting to our smiles and smiling back. I don't have any good pictures yet, but my mom got some good ones, so I will put them up soon.
- She's has gained over a pound since birth.

I can not even begin to describe how wonderful it is to be home, but I have to say it actually was a little tiny bit sad to leave the hospital. The nurses were so sorry to see her go! They all came out to say goodbye to her and everyone cheered and clapped. It was really sweet. I have a follow up appt. next week at the hospital but otherwise I will probably never see these people again and I wish there was some way I could express my gratitude for the way they cared for my daughter. All of the nursing staff and the doctors were just incredible. The Japanese people are some of the kindest sweetest most considerate people I have ever met. I never once doubted the care Lilia was receiving at night from the nurses when I couldn't be there with her. They are going to miss "Lili chan" :)

Road to Recovery ( A brief summary of the scariest two weeks of my life)

Lilia in one of the many smocked dresses her Mama Gia has made for her.
Cliff was able to give her her name and blessing at the hospital.

I am finally feeling like I can talk about this a little bit. I am much too tired to attempt to revisit all of the details right now but I realized the other day that a lot of my close friends have been in the dark these past two weeks when it comes to Lilia and I would like to remedy that now.
On the morning of Lilia's two week doctors appt (She was actually only 12 days old) I thought she felt really warm when I was nursing her and so we took her temperature. She had been fussy all night and the entire day before but the last time we took her her temperature it was normal. This time it was not. She had a fever of 101 at our house and when we got to the urgent care center it was actually 102 and her breathing was shallow and labored. The doctor on call decided that she needed to be sent to a hospital immediately as Atsugi did not have the means to treat her. I went with her in the ambulance to the Japanese hospital in a state of mind-numbing fear fighting back tears. We were admitted to the hospital after she was tested for the "swine flu" and here is where things got even scarier.
We had an interpreter with us and although Yoriko has been truly wonderful it is agonizing to have to wait for a translation of what is going on when your child is in critical condition. Again, I don't want to revisit all of the details of that particular day right now but here are some of the key points:

Wednesday May 27th
- Lilia was admitted to the Japanese hospital and tests began immediately to try and determine what had caused her high fever.
- They drew blood, took x-rays, and did a spinal tap.
- They started antibiotics after discovering that she had an extremely high white blood cell count (indicating infection.)

Thursday May 28th
- She had an abdominal ultrasound and a CT scan
- It was determined that the infection was bacterial when her white blood cell count dropped after administering antibiotics.
- further testing revealed that the bacteria was in her mucus, umbilical cord stump, and her blood (sepsis)
- Antibiotics were narrowed down to specifically treat sepsis.
- They also started her on gamma globulin which was a little scary because we had to sign a consent form. (It's made from human blood which always come with risks including the body's rejection of said blood)

Friday May 29th
- The bacteria in her blood is determined to be Group B Streptococcus (GBS)

At this point we began to see results from the medicine and improvement in Lilia. I absolutely credit this to blessings that were given, prayers that were answered, and fantastic medical attention. We weren't entirely out of the woods yet but we had a lot more hope. Upon finding out that the bacteria was GBS we also had a mystery on our hands. Here are some facts and statistics about GBS:
- All pregnant women are tested for GBS during their pregnancy. I was tested at 35 weeks and my test was NEGATIVE.
- When a woman tests positive she is simply treated with antibiotics during delivery and the child is usually fine. 20-25% of women are carriers of this bacteria. Most never show any symptoms. Apparently you can be a carrier on and off throughout your life.
- There are two "kinds" or manifestations of this bacteria in infants. If the child shows symptoms during the first 7 days (week) of their life then it is determined that it came from the mother. If they show symptoms after the first week then it is called "Late onset GBS" and only 47% of these infants contracted the bacteria from their mothers. It is mostly unknown where the other half of these infants get the bacteria.
- GBS is extremely rare in infants. It's something like 3.3 out of 10,000 infants contract this bacteria and late onsent is even more rare. Only 15% of that 3.3 have late onset. Lilia's case is/was late onset.
- If it is not caught early on, 50% of infants with GBS do not live.

Did that get your attention? I know most new parents don't get much sleep. We haven't gotten much sleep

So here is the crazier thing. Our doctor, Dr. Miyaji wanted to have me go back in and be tested for GBS again. He said it would not prove too much, but if it came back negative again we would have to notify Yokosuka (where I gave birth) of the situation in case of a contamination problem on their part. I went back in for the test last Thursday. We got the result today. It was POSITIVE. So what does this mean? Did I have a false negative before? Did I pick of the bacteria sometime between 35 weeks and now? Did Lilia get it from me? If she didn't get it from me, then where? It doesn't really make a difference at this point. The antibiotics are working and she is definitely getting better. It's just scary. These past two weeks have just been absolutely horrifying. Japanese hospitals have very strict visiting hours and they don't allow you to stay over night with your child. Every night at 8pm we have to say good bye to her. The first few night were just .... awful. I can't think of a better word right now. I was so afraid I was saying goodbye for good. Even two weeks later it hasn't gotten much easier.
I have been able to visit her from 10 am to 8pm each day although Cliff and my mother are not able to as early as I am. Breastfeeding mothers are welcome from 10am-8pm but everyone else it's 2pm to 8. I have been getting up every 3 hrs each night to pump so that I will have milk for the nurses to feed her the following night. I am grateful that I have still been able to feed her. I am even more grateful that she should be able to come home in a week. Dr. Miyaji said that as long as her blood test results are clear this Thursday, they should be able to discharge her on the 15th.

I just want everyone to know that I am very grateful for their love and support and prayers. I KNOW that prayers have been answered and I truly feel that my family has experienced a miracle. I want to thank everyone in their concern for their patience as well. This has been a very difficult time for me and I couldn't talk about it right away.

A Baby Story - ALL the gory details :) (seriously - all of them, so beware)

Mama Gia holding Lilia
Our happy little Family! (We should probably be sleeping right now but sometimes I can't take my eyes off of her!)

So where to start? Early labor can start WEEKS and weeks in advance, right? So how do you really know when it's the real deal? Last week I got schooled.

I'll start with my 39 week doctor appointment that I had on Thursday May 14th. It's so funny, because I had initially prayed and hoped that I would make it to this appointment because Cliff was supposed to be out on the ship and was going to be coming back home on the 15th. When Cliff came home early all bets were off! I wanted this baby OUT of me. My Doctor had told me the previous week that I was dilated to almost 3 cm and I was 25% effaced. He said he might not see me at 39 weeks, but there I was.
During the appointment he measured me again and to my disappointment I was still only at a 3 but I was at least 50 % effaced. He asked me if I wanted my membranes stripped, but warned me that there were certainly no guarantees with this process. I said "what the heck? why not?" I mean, Cliff was home now, so lets get this show on the road! This was the beginning of the end......
Cliff and I went to the commissary after the appt. and we ran into everyone and there mother. I was becoming increasingly more and more uncomfortable but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I felt really crampy and quite a bit of pressure in my lower abdomen and pelvic area. We talked to some of the friends that we ran into and then went home to go for a walk. Walking was definitely making my cramps worse, but again, I didn't want to get my hopes up. Flash forward a few hours (about 7:00pm) and my mom and Cliff and I are watching American Idol ( live television is delayed about 12 hrs for us here) and eating our dinner. I was so uncomfortable at this point that I was alternating between sitting and pacing the room. We decided during the America's Next Top Model finale (8:00pm) to start casually timing my contractions. I wasn't very consistent in timing them but they seemed to be any where from 3-6 minutes apart. Cliff called Labor and Delivery in Yokosuka around 9pm and they asked us to consistently time the contractions for another hour. I tried to sit tight and my mom started a load of laundry while we checked to make sure our bags were all packed - just in case. Well the contractions were still a little erratic but Cliff and my mom thought we should go ahead and leave for the hospital. We were going to be checking into the Storks Nest (hotel for expectant mothers that live far away from Yokosuka) the following day anyway. My mom and I kept getting ready and Cliff announced that we had forgotten to gas up the van and that he would be right back.... yeah that turned into 45 minutes when he had to go off base and realized he couldn't speak Japanese nor understand the credit card machine at the pump. He had to drive back on base, get some yen out of the ATM, drive back off base, stop at a convenience store to break a 5,000 yen bill, and then get gas. We usually get gas on base as it's much less expensive and convenient, but do we plan for these things? Certainly not.
About 10 minutes before we left some panic and denial tried to get the better of me. I didn't want to drive down to the hospital just to be laughed at and sent home with a false alarm. I actually had Cliff pull over on the way out the gate because I thought my contractions had stopped and I refused to go any further until I had another one. Yeah... that took about 2 min. - two minutes of very awkward silence in our car... so off we went!
We arrived at Labor and Delivery around 10:30? Maybe a little before 11:00pm? We almost got held up at the gate at Yokosuka because my mom didn't have a pass for that base. Cliff was patiently waiting for the guard to get through his spiel about visitors while I was growing increasingly antsy. I finally shouted across the seat that we needed to get to the hospital first as I was in labor! The guard apologized profusely and asked "why didn't you say so??" That's Cliff for you :) I think he was kind of in shock at this point. We got in and they took me to a room to strap some monitors to me and watch my contractions. One of the nurses came in to ask me some some questions about pain management, my contractions, when I last ate, etc. After about 30 minutes they came back in to check the monitors and one of the midwives checked my cervix. My contractions were a steady 4-5 minutes apart and I was now 75% effaced but still only at a 3!! UGH! The midwife asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes again to see if we could speed things up. It wasn't uncomfortable earlier when Dr. Groetch did it, so I said "sure." Boy oh boy was it different this time around. It really hurt and and I bled a lot. She said this was a good thing. They did not admit me at this point but allowed me to check into the Stork's Nest early. The midwife and nurse recommended that I either walk for a few hours or go home and get some sleep as first time mother's have labors that last 14-17 hrs on average. They said if I got stronger contractions in the next few hours that I could certainly come back in, but they didn't think anything would come of it that night.....

Here's where things get a little more interesting. We walked/waddled to the Storks Nest and tried to get settled in. I was actually in pain now where before things were just uncomfortable and annoying. I was also bleeding a lot more. Cliff and my mom had to run back to the front gate to get her an official pass. They were only gone about 20 minutes but it was perhaps the longest 20 minutes in my life up to that point. When they got back it was about 12:30am and I was into full blown panicky pain lady. I tried everything to get some relief. I tried walking, dancing, curling up in a ball on the bed, breathing, meditating, squatting, etc. I even tried to take a hot shower and Cliff tried to rub my back. I wanted to go straight back to the hospital but my mom was convinced I should try to sleep or go for a walk. I didn't WANT to go for a walk!! That made things worse!! I was finally having real contractions and... I didn't like them one bit. I was like a crazy lemming or something literally running around our hotel room in circles. My mom even claims that I threw a hair brush at her.... I think I just threw it on the floor. Well.... we did this for about 2 more hrs until I had finally had it and wanted to get to get to the hospital and beg for an epidural. I didn't need to prove anything to anyone and felt at this point that enduring any more of this crap would be masochistic. My mom was skeptical of our admittance but I was going to try anyway. So we got there around 2:30am and had to do all the monitor crap for another 30 minutes before they would check me. I just tried to keep breathing deeply. The nurse commented that I definitely looked more uncomfortable this time around. After 30 minutes they established that my contractions were a pretty consistent three minutes apart and the midwife came in to examine me again. Hallelujah! I was dilated 5cm and 80% effaced! Who said stripping membranes doesn't work? Well that was my ticket in. They started some paper work on me and then moved me to the room I would spend the next 9 hrs in. A couple of corpsman came in to start and I.V. on me and the nurse ( I think her last name was Saito?) asked me again about pain management. Epidural? Yes, please...soon?
They had a lot of trouble with my I.V. They couldn't find a vein on either arm. They tried one arm for about 10 minutes and finally gave up after lots of sticks and blood. They didn't have much luck with my other arm and apparently there was a lot of blood because Cliff had to sit down for a minute. I never watch them stick me ( and having had a brain tumor I have had ample opportunity to watch,) and I was waaaay too preoccupied with the contractions to care, but I vaguely understood that there was going to be a lot of bruising. They next few hours are a little blurry now... I know nurse Saito said that they had called the anesthesiologist but he wasn't at the hospital yet. I think the time was passed with Cliff applying counter pressure to my feet and me... quietly wimpering and casting sour looks. My mom was still back at the hotel sleeping. Cliff was such a champ. He just kept on massaging my feet. The anasthesiologist didn't get there until 4am and by then I was at 6cm and 90 %. His name was Captain Turk and for some reason he kind of reminded me of a salty sea captain or a pirate. I was kind of loopy with pain at that point, though. It took them just a little while to get the catheter in because of all of the contractions but once it was in it was almost instantaneous bliss. To this day that man is my hero. It was fantabulous. The contractions weren't causing me pain any more but I could still tell when I was having them, I could still feel my legs and wiggle my toes and I still felt very aware of my surroundings - just happier. I even kissed Cliff! My mom of course chose now to show up - once all of the crankiness and pain were gone. She's a clever lady. I was initially worried about having an epidural because I had heard that they can slow labor down and I didn't really want to be induced but mine did the opposite! It helped me relax and I dilated at a very steady rate. Capatain Turk was done around 5 am and by 8am I was dilated to 8cm and by 10am I was fully dilated to 10cm and 100% effaced EXCEPT for this little lip around my cervix. Commander Hiles (my midwife) told me that had this been a second time delivery they would have had me start pushing right then and there (which at this point I was really anxious to do) but being a first time delivery that lip can catch and bleed too much and they didn't want to risk it. I was back in a lot of pain now and had been since around 9am. I was really really wanting to push feeling TONS of pressure in my pelvic area. Commander Hiles said she would come back and check in 30min-and hour and for me to just hold tight. AHHH!!! I didn't think I could do it. This is about when Captain Turk showed up again with a little trick up his sleeve. He gave me a low dose of fentinol sp? to tide me over until delivery. It basically knocked me out for about 45 minutes until Commander Hiles came back and announced we were good to go! Now here is where I about had a panic attack. Commander Hiles said "let's talk a little about pushing... this is going to take a lot of energy and you are really going to have to give it your all." I was panicking because my friends had all told me their stories about pushing for HOURS. I didn't think I could last another 5 minutes! They had me do a couple of practice pushes to make sure I had the hang of it and then decided we were good to go. I had a little moment with myself right then where I decided that I would NOT push for hours. I was positively absolutely DONE with being pregnant and I was going to push like there was no tomorrow. I started pushing at 11:30. They asked me if I wanted to see a mirror. "Heck no." At 11:40am Lilia graced us with her presence! 10 MINUTES! The best part of my pregnancy. She had the cord around her neck when she came out but that was quickly remedied and Commander Hiles put her straight on my chest. Everyone in the room was cheering or crying. Even Cliff was misty as he later admitted. My mom was crying, I was crying, Lilia was crying. It was a cry fest. Cliff cut her cord and I delivered the placenta quite easily. Commander Hiles made me look at it :) It was actually kind of interesting... in a kind of gross and bizarre way. That 2lbs of tissue caused me a lot of grief these past few months. But I did it! I was able to deliver vaginally and everyone was healthy and safe. Lilia was quite the chunker so I am glad that she came 6 days before her due date. I got to nurse her right away too and she has been taking to it splendidly. I tore a little bit during the pushing, but Commander Hiles got me stitched up pretty quickly and I was even able to walk to the bathroom rather than take the wheelchair when the time came.
We stayed at the hospital for two days (standard for new moms) and came home on Sunday. We are still getting into a routine and figuring out how to sleep, but otherwise all is well and we LOVE our little girl!!!

Lilia Rebekah May

She's here! I will write more later, but for now just the important stuff :)

Lilia Rebekah May
Born at 11:40 am on the 15th of May 2009
8 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long!!

We are all home now and everyone is healthy and safe after a few minor bumps in the road. We are very grateful for all of the love and support that we have received from our family and friends and will have details on EVERYTHING once we've gotten a little more sleep.... if that ever happens ;)

A $250,000 answer to prayers and a witchy woman at 39 weeks

I'm really late in writing this. It would have been much more dramatic had I written it about a week ago. I really don't have a good excuse - I've just been crabby and lazy about it. So Cliff was supposed to leave last Tuesday and be gone until either the 14th or the 19th which was precariously close to my due date and making us both very nervous. I had been having a lot of contractions right before he left and I did NOT want him to go. Unfortunately, that's the Navy and that's what we both signed up for. So he DID leave on the 5th (Tuesday morning) and then... on that Thursday afternoon I got a call from our friend Mike at the squadron asking me if I was coming over there. "Why would I come over there? Am I supposed to be coming over there?" I asked. "Um... shoot! Did I just ruin the surprise?" Mike answered. "What!?!?!??" I demanded. Mike told me that Cliff would be landing in about 30 minutes and although I was spectacularly confused I jumped in my car and got over there as fast as I could. Both of us were surprised that day :)

Apparently a part had broken on his ship that held the aircraft in place. It wasn't an easy or a cheap fix so his boss decided to send one of the birds home and Cliff along with it! It was such an incredible answer to our prayers. I kept saying, "if I can just hold out until the 15th when he gets back....." but then he came home early! Having him home with me really calmed me down a lot and of course my contractions have now eased up and this baby will probably wind up late ;) I don't care, though! It's been absolutely wonderful having him here and my mom is here too! I have been such a worry wart throughout this entire pregnancy so it's nice to have a few constants in my life.

The only downside to this situation is that the closer I get to my supposed "due date" (the 21st) the crabbier and crabbier I get. Good GRIEF I am irritable right now. I am having more painful contractions and I am dilated to 3cm and it's doing absolutely nothing. My mom and I go for long walks every night. We even hiked Kamakura this past weekend. That's a lot of stairs people. I think the greatest injustice, though, is my body's betrayal. I made it all the way to 38 WEEKS with no stretch marks and then all of the sudden I had like 5 around the space my belly button used to be. It's like my body said "Look, Jill, we tried to work with you - really we did, but enough is enough." UGH!

I know that my blog has become nothing more than a pregnancy rant, but this is a nearly all-consuming part of my life right now. A part that I am completely over! If there is one thing that I have learned throughout all of this (and those of you that have yet to experience this wonderful portion of the circle of life) is that you NEVER ask a woman at term if she has had her baby yet. Don't even ask her when she is due. In fact, ignore briefly that she is pregnant at all. Ask her about "Lost" or "Dancing with the Stars" if you will. Better yet, just run in the opposite direction.

Over 37 weeks!

It's kind of surreal... I know that I am getting closer to delivering but it still seems impossible that I am going to be a mother soon! Not that I am not completely ready to get this kid out of me... quite the contrary, it's just that I can't really visualize the actual delivery...

Anywho, I have some great news! The last ultrasound that I had showed that my placenta had moved enough (6 1/2 cm) so I am no longer having a c-section at this point! I honestly had made my peace with whatever decision the doctor was going to make but no one really wants to have surgery if they can avoid it. The plan as of right now is to head down to Yokosuka on the 15th and stay at the "stork's nest" until delivery. The idea with the stork's nest is that you are already down at Yokosuka ahead of your delivery date so that you don't have to worry about making an 1 1/2 -2 hour drive while in labor. I am crossing my fingers that this baby doesn't come too early because I would really like Cliff to be there.

In other news:

- My feet have started swelling in the evenings. They usually return to normal by the next morning but they are KILLING me by the end of the day. I have tried to go on walks to keep my circulation up and I am pushing the fluids as my doctor recommended. This has helped a little.

- I gained 4 1/2 lbs in about 10 days.... That was really good for my self- esteem. And of course the corpsman at the doctor's office had to point this out to me. " Ma'am you realize you've gained some weight?" "No sir, I was looking at a different scale than you were. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Oh, and I'm not PREGNANT or anything." I guess it's true what people say, that you can really pack on the pounds near the end...

- I'm back to craving salads again, but this time with blackened salmon - YUM!!!

- With the blackened salmon and just about anything else I eat comes heartburn. Yuck. Acid reflux is the WORST. If this doesn't go away after the baby is born I'm gonna... I'm gonna... hmm.... I guess just stompl my feet and complain some more... :(

- The nursery is all organized!! Notice I say "organized" and not "decorated." I still have a little ways to go with decoration, but the furniture is all where it needs to be and more importantly, it is SPOTLESS. Some wonderful ladies from church came over yesterday and did an extreme makeover on that room. I had been having panic attacks over the colossaly chaotic disaster that was that room and they had completely turned around in about 2 hrs.

- I am having a lot of those so-called "braxton hicks'' contractions. I wouldn't call them painful but they can most certainly be uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten sucker punched and all of the air leaves my lungs. Cliff and I have noticed that I get them more frequently when I am stressed out or upset. Did that happen to any of you moms out there?

- Lastly, my mom gets here tomorrow!!! We are driving all the way out to Narita to get her tomorrow after church!! So excited!!!!