Monday, September 24, 2012

Politics, Religion, and Parenting

  I get called an idiot, a bigot, or a bad mother about 50 times a day every day of the week by my friends and family.  Does this happen to you, too?  What terrible friends, right?  Well not necessarily.  I don't think that these friends and family members are 100% aware of what they are doing.  Maybe they are, but I like to think that they are not and that is what this post is about.  Awareness.

  Not so long ago in a galaxy not so far away human beings used to share their opinions with others about "life, the universe, and everything" face to face.  Subjects including but not limited to politics and religion were discussed with close friends and rarely strangers.   If you did share your political beliefs and ideologies with others, you generally felt out your audience beforehand lest you offend someone or ruin a dinner party.  There have always been those with utter disregard for public etiquette, but before the proliferation of social media, breeches in etiquette were confined to smaller settings and fewer people.   Today when we voice our opinions and our views anyone and everyone hears them.  This can be a wonderful thing!  We can share good news and science and discoveries in less than a millisecond!  We can recommend the latest book we are reading or comment on the Olympics!  We can share recipes or inundate our families and friends with pictures of our children!  We can give a play by play of whatever college football game is on!  This can also be terrible when we discuss controversial matters and forget that not everyone in our "friends" list subscribes to our personal ways of thinking.  This can be really awful when you start to "push" your views or suggest that those that don't agree with you 100% are stupid or even evil.

  It's an election year in the good 'ol U.S. of A. and to say that mud has been slung is quite an understatement.   I don't know that this year holds any more vitriol than election years past, but I feel like the contention is more public in that it's not just college students and high-school students that use social media to broadcast their views.  Now we have mothers, our grandfathers, our neighbor down the street, our old elementary school teachers, our church leaders,  the kids we used to babysit, our college professors, and our softball and swimming coaches getting in on the action too.   It's one thing to post that you support a certain candidate or policy, but I don't believe that Facebook or Twitter is the place for inflammatory political statements.  Posting that "this guy is a hack and if you are stupid enough to vote for him you don't deserve to live," is not only rude, but sort of pointless...  I mean, what is the purpose of posting something so hateful?  Do you really think that you are going to change minds and hearts by calling people stupid?  Maybe these posts are intended only for people who agree with you.  But even if that is the case... what is the point?  If all of them already agree with you, does it even need to be said?  If you want to sit around your own home with like-minded people and stroke each others' egos and pat each others' backs for thinking alike then do that.  Before you post online, though, think it through.  Are you 100% sure that just because you think candidate "X'' is the man for the job everyone else agrees with you?  If you know that not everyone agrees with you, do you wish to offend your friends?  Do you wish to hurt their feelings?  I'm not telling anyone to stop posting about politics.  No one would listen to me even if I did.  I just want to caution everyone to avoid hateful rhetoric or overly broad generalizations about people and their voting habits.  Generalizations like "anyone that votes for "this person," is a Nazi, a thief, a communist, or a hippie," don't do anything productive.

  This all goes for posts about religion too.  Has history taught us nothing about religious tolerance?  Just when I think we are making headway I see hateful posts about so many different religions.  I'm not even going to give examples.  We've all seen the hate and the ignorance.   One of the drawbacks of social media is that while you can read, you can't listen.   You can jump to conclusions, but you can't carry on a conversation (no, comments DO NOT count as conversation.)  Just remember that while the majority of your friends may be religious, or may not, (whatever your case,) there are probably a few outliers that see the world differently than you do.  Do you want to publicly discount their views?  Do you expect them to remain your friend for long if you do this?  I ask myself often... "If this person knew how I really felt about [this] topic, would they "unfriend" me?"  Maybe they would!  Then I follow that train of thought and wonder... do we really want to surround ourselves with people who only think like we do?  Is that healthy or desirable?


  This brings me to my final point.  I am obviously bothered by posts on politics and religion or I wouldn't be writing this post, but nothing irks me more than inflammatory or judgmental posts on parenting and motherhood.  *Deep breath*  Here we go... please parents out there and even those of you that are not parents, but still feel it is your place to comment or judge parenting methods - STOP!  Stop telling people that they are "bad parents if..."  I can't keep up with all of you and I don't want to!  First I am a bad parent if I vaccinate my child.  Then I am a bad parent if I don't vaccinate my child.  I am a bad parent if I let my kid cry it out and I am a bad parent for picking my kids up every time he cries because I am "coddling him."  I'm not not a good mother if I feed my child anything processed, have an epidural during labor, give my child a pacifier, break their nap routine to run errands, decide not to breastfeed, use disposable diapers, etc.  I'm a masochist if I have a natural birth or HEAVEN FORBID a HOME BIRTH where I am taking unnecessary risks!  I'm socially murdering my child if I choose to home school them.  I'm emotionally murdering my child if I send them to public school.  I'm backwards and dangerous if I treat my child's illnesses with  homeopathic remedies rather than antibiotics.   If I consent to the use of antibiotics I am the devil incarnate.

 
 Are you exhausted yet?  Parenting is tough enough without the social media judgement out there.  There may be a million wrong ways to be a parent, but did you ever think that there might be a million right ways too?  We should be encouraging each other - not tearing each other down with passive aggressive posts.  I can confidently guarantee that no two parenting styles are exactly alike.  They shouldn't be.  No two children are alike! 



   I will wrap this up with a few suggestions for future posts and status updates.  The next time you get a hankering to post something controversial try asking yourself these questions:

1.  Is there anyone that might read this and be offended?  No?  Post away! 

2.  Do I care if I offend anyone?   No?  Post away!  Please be aware, though,  that there are consequences.  You may lose friends and start a commenting war.  If this is your goal, seriously, post away...

3.  Is this something I would feel comfortable saying to every single person on my friend list face to face? Yes?  Post away! 


  There you have it.  Now go out there and post nicely! 



Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Ivy Update (13 months)

Ivy is over a year old now!


I was a little late on getting Ivy's 12 month check up so we had it a little closer to 13 months, but she is healthy and doing well!  Her current stats are 28 and 3/4 inches for height and 20 lbs 12 oz for weight.  She has been consistently in the 20-25% for height and 50% for weight. 













   She has changed so much this summer.  No longer a baby, she is a full on walking toddler.  She started walking at 12 1/2 months and never stopped.  These days she rarely crawls and is getting faster and faster walking.  She keeps up with us around the house and her balance is fantastic with Lilia running around her and bumping into her all the time.  She's our goofball.  She has such a funny little personality.  She is super smiley and still makes her funny "duck" noises.  We don't notice them as much as strangers and friends do.  They always comment or laugh and we just say "yup, that's Ivy!"

  Ivy's has more than "duck" noises in her repertoire, though.  She is now saying quite a few words.  She loves to play with baby dolls and she says, "Baby," "Pat pat," and "Bye, bye" (for "rockabye.")  She carries her dolls around with her and rocks them and burps them.  If you ask her to kiss her baby she will.  She gives us delightful open mouth kisses upon request as well.  Ivy also waves and says "hello" and "bye bye."  She also says "Dada" whenever Cliff is within 50 feet of her or even when she sees his picture or hears his voice.  She says "mama" when she sees... my breasts...  *sigh.*   

  I think my favorite thing about Ivy right now is how well she plays with Lilia.  It is just the best thing in the world to see your kids play together.  Just heavenly.  In the picture above and below they were playing "magic carpet."  Lilia always leads the game, but Ivy is usually content to follow along.  Sisters are the best!!  I just hope this lasts a few years....
   It is increasingly difficult to get a good picture of Ivy.  She is a girl on the go.  She never has been one to sit still, but now that she walks she almost NEVER sits still.  In these pictures Lilia dressed her up and sent her "grocery shopping."  She is a cute little shopper if I do say so myself!
  In other Ivy news, she has 6 teeth and one more just broke the surface.  Her favorites foods right now are raspberries and blackberries.  She also loves banana and baked sweet potato.  If she doesn't like a food or is done eating, she systematically drops it over her tray and onto the floor.  I will leave the room for a second and come back to find a neat little pile of cheerios or beans on the floor and Ivy looking up at me as innocently as can be.  She has been drinking cows milk for almost two months now and loves it.  She is still breastfed three times a day, but middle of the day is about to go. Ivy never took a bottle so we never had to ween her of that. 

  Ivy is still a good sleeper too.  She sleeps about 12 hours at night, wakes up in the morning to eat and then goes back down for another hour or two.  She is soooo different than Lilia when it comes to her night routine.  Both girls I read to and sang to and then rocked them for a minute before laying them down.  Lilia LOVED this routine and would let me snuggle her and hold her and rock her to my heart's content.  Ivy... not so much.  When she is tired she doesn't want to be rocked or snuggled.  I barely get to sing one verse to her before she is bucking out of my arms and diving for the crib.  She leaps out of my arms every night and nose dives into the mattress to snuggle in on her tummy with her arms and knees tucked under her.  She does the same thing at nap time which unfortunately is only once a day now.  Still better than Lilia ever was!  Ivy will sleep for two hours most days!  Amazing!!  (It's all relative, right?)

  She is such a fun kid.  She amazes us with the things she does every single day.  I'm not glad I threw up for nine months, but I am soooooo glad that we made the decision to have another child because life would not be the same without Ivy here!!


Ivy's Birthday in Florida

   I have been sooooo behind in blogging that even thinking about catching up is almost too much effort.  Ivy deserves a birthday post and update, though, don't you think?  I must really love her! 
  We had a birthday party for Ivy when we went to Florida to visit family and friends.   One of my very best friends, Chrissy, met us in Florida and we celebrated our babies' first birthdays together!  The theme was "Thing 1 and Thing 2" and it was pretty stinkin' adorable.   Many of our friends from Japan are now living in P-cola and they were kind enough to join us in celebrating Ivy and Liam's first year.  It was an impromptu reunion of sorts and it was so much fun!  I got to see some truly amazing women again AND the babies that they've had since we last saw each other.  So cool!  

  Ivy and her Mimi


Ivy and her daddy.  Don't let the look of terror fool you.  He had a great time with all of the girls and babies.  
   The kids were instant besties  :)
 Ivy opening gifts.  She dove right in and knew just what to do.
 Woohoo!

Thing 1 and Thing 2.  Aren't they cute!
  
   All of the mamas and their babies!  Japan/ Florida Reunion 2012!  These were some of my very best friends in Japan.  I feel very blessed to know them and hope we can get together again soon!


The cakes
 Ivy THOROUGHLY enjoyed her first cake. 
 So much so that she didn't even bother with hands! 
  

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