"Meet Your Eats" Farm Tour

 My last post was a bit of a bummer, so we'll lighten things up a bit tonight with an update on our "real food" journey.  It's no secret that Charlottesville is a haven for foodies and the real food movement in general.  There are sprawling gorgeous farms everywhere you look.  It's not hard to "eat fresh, buy local."
  This past weekend the city farmer's market sponsored a "Meet Your Eats" tour of many of the farms in the area.  We bought a pass and decided to go for it!  We picked out a couple of farms that were within 15 minutes of our house and set out for a Saturday adventure!  The first farm we chose to visit was Free Union Grass farm.  Literally 17 minutes from doorstep to drive.  We got out and were greeted by a friendly farmer and some noisy pigs!  I knew right then that the girls were going to love this!
  So if you aren't familiar with the term "grass farmer or grass farming," it is generally attributed to Joel Salatin of Polyface farm in Swoope,VA.  His farm has been getting lots of attention from Michael Pollan's books, (specifically "The Omnivore's Dilemma.")  His approach to farming is that of a scientist invested in an entire ecosystem.  He recognizes that animals and the earth really have a symbiotic relationship.  If the earth is suffering the animals with suffer and vice/versa.  He considers himself a "grass farmer" because grass is literally at the root of the ecosystem.  You take care of your grass and everything else will fall into place (more or less.)  He does this by creating a poly culture of multiple animals and grasses and he rotates the animals on his pasture so no one area is over-run or destroyed.  Every animal has a specific role to plan in the system.  It's really fascinating.  Long story short - the farmers in Free Union follow the same system.  They rotate cows, chickens, ducks, goats, and pigs.  The pigs especially do a lot of the clean up for them. 

   Chicks!

   Ivy was sucking on this wooden board.  If she doesn't die of avian flu or ebola or something in the next week it will be another testament to the cleanliness of this farm's practices... or something...  I think she licked the bottom of her shoe later on in the car as well. 

 Ducks!

 Chickens!

 Laying hens!

 Cows!!  They are super huge because they are calfing right now.  The one's we took pictures of are due in a week or so.

 It was tough shlepping all of the kids around the farm and pretty hot outside too, but I'm so glad we brought the kids and made it out.  It's amazing to see what can be accomplished with some land, animals, sun, rain, and a lot of hard work.  It's also incredibly refreshing to me to see that there are still people out there that don't believe "roundup" and antibiotics are the answer to everything.

We didn't make it to all of the other farms we wanted to see as toddlers started to melt down, but we did end the day at our favorite local peach orchard and that is a success in my book.  We came home and made black bean burgers and like the good little locavores that we are, we used local heirloom tomatoes on them as well as local micro greens and local cheese!  I love C-ville!  How will we ever make ourselves leave???

Life is Hard and Life is Beautiful

  I am the kind of person that needs goals in my life or things to look forward to.  When I was in college I looked forward to breaks and tests being over with.  I looked forward to graduation.  When Cliff and I first got married I looked forward to vacations and to each move and marked time by our travels.  When we lived in Japan I looked forward to the end of each deployment and to the fantastic trips we took.  Looking forward to those trips were what got me through some really tough months alone with a baby.
  I no longer mark time by deployment schedules because Cliff is home every night on this tour.  That doesn't me I don't still need goals or things to look forward to, though.  I still look forward to trips we will take, visits from family members, and days that Cliff has off from work.  Every Monday I look forward to Friday.  I feel like I am always looking forward and forgetting to look around at "now."
   In our church we talk a lot about "finding joy in the journey."  This is so hard for me right now.  I feel like a lot of days are never-ending and monotonous in their difficulty.  At the beginning of each new day I mostly think... man I wish I could go back to bed.  But I don't.  I get up and I get things started.  My day starts with a shower if I am lucky.  If Cliff isn't going in too early he takes Joel and I shower quickly before he has to leave.  After he leaves I strap Joel onto me in the carrier and get the girls dressed and downstairs for breakfast.  There is always a bit of impatience as I struggle to get everyone fed quickly and then it's a complete free-for-all as I shlep all the kids out the door and across the street to Lilia's preschool.  Tearing Ivy away and getting her back across the street is always a battle.  Like face slapping, biting, hitting, laying in the middle of the side walk, BATTLE.  I resorted to candy corn bribery last Friday and definitely got some incredulous "looks" from one of the other moms.  Whatev.  We're in survival mode right now.   We get back in the house and I start an activity with Ivy like... coloring... or play dough... I am wearing Joel the whole time and trying to bend down and pick up the crayons she has dropped or the play dough molds or her pony dolls that she carries with her everywhere.  I last about 10 minutes and then Ivy is screaming about something (I won't let her color on the wall or the table, etc) and I give up and turn on a movie.  Just this past week we have watched "Despicable Me" with the "onions" about 18 times - no joke. 
  Joel screams if I put him down for more than 15 minutes at a time so I wear him most of the day.  Cliff wears him as soon as he walks through the door.  We figured that between the two of us wearing him and him sleeping in our arms at night, Joel is held at least 20-22 hours out of every day.   I find this somewhat ironic because I really don't consider myself an "attachment" parent, but what is more ATTACHED than being literally attached to your child all day and all night.  I need to see a chiropractor like I need oxygen, but it will have to wait a few months.  Looking forward to getting over colic.  I guess we have a more holistic view on parenting in our house.  What's best for EVERYONE is what we aim for.  If the baby is suffering the parents and siblings are suffering and that goes both ways.  If mommy and daddy are suffering, you better believe that kids are suffering too, so we try to strike a compromise...  It's our own form of balance.  We do what works until it doesn't and then we move on and try something new.  Sometimes kids are left crying and screaming while mommy walks away for 15 minutes or takes a shower.  Sometimes mommy is in tears because she can't move her neck from sleeping so awkwardly holding a baby all night.  It's give and take.  But mostly give.  Who am I kidding.
  I figure crying screaming children are much better off than dead children or even dead parents.  We are all alive and that is a success.  If whatever you are doing is causing you to resent your child, you need to do something else.  Seriously.  
  I look forward to nap time/ quiet time when the girls go to their rooms and sleep/ stay quiet for two hours every day.  This is a major milestone of the day.  If I get to nap time I am more than halfway through the day!  Cliff gets home just a couple of hours after nap time!  I get the kids up from naps around 3:00 or 3:30.  I usually try to take a nap myself, but Joel doesn't usually cooperate.  Like I said, he has to be held ALL.THE. TIME.   We'll get there.  I know he will be better by 5 or 6 months.  That is what I am looking forward to right now.
  I sometimes miss just having the girls.  Before I was pregnant we went and DID so many things together.  I felt so confident in my mothering abilities when it came to two kids.  We laughed!  We learned!  We played!  We had routines and they worked!  I have hope that three will someday be this way too, but right now it is not.  Someone is always being neglected.  We don't leave the house as often as I would like.  There are a lot more tears than there used to be from everyone.  I had a lot of mommy guilt over this from my pregnancy and now tough baby, but now it just is what it is.  Standards have been lowered.  And lowered again.  

When Cliff gets home I hand him the kids and I get busy with dinner.  I LOVE making dinner or ANY MEAL that does not involve wearing a baby.  After dinner I take the girls upstairs and I bathe them and dress them in their pajamas and then I put them to bed with a story and a song.  After they are in bed and I have nursed Joel one last time for the day, Cliff takes him while I head downstairs to clean up and do all of the dishes.  I relish this part of the day because it is just ME.  I never thought I would look forward to doing dishes, but that is where I am right now.  It's actually really interesting how our (Cliff and my,) roles have reversed since Joel was born.  When I was pregnant and miserably sick I used to go to bed right after dinner.  Cliff bathed both girls, put them to bed, and cleaned up downstairs.  He usually made the dinner too.  Now it is the complete opposite.  Cliff goes to bed right after dinner and holds Joel for most of the night.  He is confined to the bed with a baby - just outside of him rather than in his belly.

  So finding joy is the journey... whew.  It's not something that just happens.  These past few weeks I have actually found many moments of joy, BUT! I have to be actively seeking them and I think the key word here is active.  When Lilia plays with Joel and sings to him and he SMILES!  That is joyful.  When I make it across the street from preschool with all three kids in tow and Ivy isn't melting down - that is joyful.  When the girls are dancing around the front room or flailing their arms pretending to fly and laughing like hyenas?  That is joy.  Joy in our house is the small victories right now.  Joel sitting in his bouncy chair while I eat lunch unencumbered for 15 minutes is a small victory.  Watching the girls play "mermaid" in the bath tub and splash and play is hilarious and fun.  Reading to Lilia at night about little witches and fairies and Peter Pan and watching her eyes grow large at the description of Neverland and Captain Hook?  These moments are wonderful and make most of the agony worth it.  Ivy turning to me and saying "Mommy?  Song?  Temple song please?"  Hearing her say every morning now "Hi mommy! Hi mommy!  HI MOMMY!!!"  These moments are beautiful and precious.  Sometimes I think parenting is an inordinate amount of really hard work for fleeting moments of awe and wonder. 

 I don't have an overarching theme to this post.  It's nearly stream of conscience, but I do want to write and remember that most days DO have wonderful moments that make it worth it.  The days are getting BETTER overall and not worse.  I DO have hope and perspective after two colicky children.  I still very much look forward to vacations and holidays and visits from my mom, but I DO have good moments every day too. 

 All three looking at the camera! 

 Look!  They are so cute!  Some of the time :)

I have gotten to spend more time getting to know Ivy recently.  Joel makes it difficult for us to have real quality time together, but we sure do try.  She is probably having the hardest time with all of these family adjustments.  

Sometimes the girls play really well together and when this happens my heart SINGS and I run for the camera.  Usually I am too late for photographic evidence, but I always try :)