Ivy girl! She's Three!

Happy "Bubble Guppies" Birthday, Ivy!! 

   It's been a long long time since I wrote anything on this blog.  Joel had a birthday, too... but I'm writing about Ivy tonight.  Oh Ivy.  My crazy Ivy girl.  We had a really fun birthday for her this year at the end of July at the splash park with cake and friends and lots of sunshine.  Unfortunately the temperature was a little less cooperative and thus the blue-ish lips in this picture.  We wrapped her in a town about 5 min after this picture was taken.  She had a blast, though!  It was so fun to see Ivy having a party that she really got the hang of.  This was the first year she really understood what a birthday party was all about.  She kept shouting, "It's MY birthday!  I am having a party!!  These are MY friends!  Poor second child/ middle child.  But seriously, we did it up right.  We had a huge cake and she was well loved.  I really love that she has some of her own friends this year too.  Legitimate Ivy friends that aren't borrowed from Lilia's stash. 

I'm three!

Too cool for school.

   Ivy has so much personality.  I mean, all of my kids do, but she just LIVES life all the way.  When she is happy she is MANIC and when she is sad or angry, hell hath no fury.  I hope this is just a three-year-old thing and not like a bi-polar thing, but either way she keeps us on our toes and we wouldn't change her... except for some days when, you know, she's hitting her brother or screaming like a banshee or jumping off of furniture or smashing butterflies...  But I digress.  Ivy is Ivy.  She has retained her hilarious/ slightly frightening laugh and now that she can jump she is bouncing, leaping, bounding.   We just enrolled her in gymnastics with Lilia and it is SO FUN to watch her take to it with such... gusto!  She ran laps around the other kids and was grinning from ear to ear the entire time.  She's so cute.  She is also very snuggly when she wants to be and LOVES to give me kisses.  We call them "kiss pops" because we open our mouths at the same time to make a loud "popping" sound.  It's weird, but we're weird, so... there.  She insists on sitting in my lap every night for a story and some snuggles and then I hold her and rock her for a minute before laying her down in her crib... yes, she still sleeps in a crib!!!  (TENDER MERCY OF THE LORD!)  and then, melt my heart, she says, "Good night mommy!  I love you!"  every single night. 

Thoughtful/wary Ivy

 Other interesting things about Ivy:
-She loves to spell her name.  She knows that there are some street signs around here that have HER name on them so she is always on the look out.  I...V...Y!  "That's MY name!  I.V.Y! 
-She is TERRIFIED of flying insects.  Bees, flies, butterflies, you name it.  ABJECT HORROR if one is within 5 ft of her. 
- She has a love/ hate relationship with dogs.  She was terrified of my mom's dog when we went to visit, but once she got over it she was all over Sushi until she was being borderline abusive, and then she went back to being terrified when Sushi tried to protect herself from Ivy's "love."  Sigh. 
- She has a love/ hate relationship with... Joel.  She's actually pretty mean to him.  It makes me sad.  She CAN'T leave him be.  She has to constantly touch or push or smack or bump him.  He has a toy in his hand?  Nope!  It's Ivy's.  She screams when she sees him toddling towards her.  She does, however, stand up for him in a mighty way when anyone else tries to mess with him.  "DON'T HURT MY BROTHER!!!!!"   I guess only she can have that privilege.  Sigh. 
-  She doesn't nap anymore, but she really should.  Whenever she does, it's amazing.  AMAZING.  And precious.  Just look at that darling.  So sweet and angelic. 

Middle of the day sleeping Ivy!?!?

- She is smart and more importantly, determined.  And stubborn.  She will fight you tooth and nail if she doesn't want to do something.  She'll fight you if she DOES wan to do something too!  She just likes to put up a fight. 
- She knows her alphabet and can count to at least 30.  We've never really tried more, but maybe we should.  She likes to count. 
- She LOVES sugar, but sugar doesn't love her.  It makes her insane.  INSANE.  We limit sugar so that all of us survive. 
- She is my easiest kid to put to bed and stay in bed.  Once she is in her crib, she is asleep moments later... and STAYS that way. 
-  She says really cute things.  She loves to say "sure" as in, "I sure do love you, mommy!" or "This cheeseburger sure is yummy! It sure is!"  "It sure is a good day!" 
-  She loves to dance and always tell me to "bob my head and shake my fingers" while I am driving. 
-  She has really hilarious facial expressions.  She likes to purposefully make funny faces, too, and then giggle about them. 
- She doesn't really loooooove clothes.  In fact, most days around the house she is just in a diaper.  She always claims that she "wants to dress up!"  But I know the truth.  She just wants an excuse to be naked. 
- She becomes super attached to very strange and very small toys.  She loves to sleep with said toys.  Once she slept with a 3 inch rubber cockroach for a month.  Lately it has been an orange Barbie purse and an orange rubber dinosaur.  Sometimes it's her Littlest Pet Shop caterpillar.  You never know what you are going to have to scour the downstairs for before putting her to bed....  
- She loves nursery class at church and... is super well behaved there!  So very unexpected, but she consistently takes directions well from others and is kind to all of the other children.  She is not shy at all and loves to meet new people.  She will readily give a new acquaintance a hug or a kiss.
- In some ways I think the deployment has taken its greatest toll on her.  Her emotions and her ability to describe them is still growing and forming and Ivy gets frustrated and upset easily.  She misses her daddy so much and doesn't really understand why he isn't here or why she can't see him.  It breaks my heart to see her sad about this. 

  I'm sure I could add a million more items to "The List of Ivy," but another day another time.  I love her so much.  She is our little sugar duckling.  She makes our lives so much more interesting and I'm glad to know her! 

Lilia Humor

I just have to write this down so that I don't forget... Lilia said the funniest thing tonight and it may have been her first true intentional joke!  A little background so that you understand...

 Tonight after baths we were gathering all of the kids into Lilia's room for our evening family prayer and of course it was chaos as usual.  Ivy was jumping all over the place, Joel was trying to crawl out of Cliff's arms, and Lilia was running up and down the hallway pretending to be "Elsa" from the movie "Frozen," and making comments about how she "had to keep her power inside, and that she just didn't want to hurt anyone else!"  Pinning her down for a prayer was all but impossible.  We finally got her into the room and she went immediately over to Joel to kiss on him and give him a few cuddles.  He was laughing and drooling up a storm and when Lilia finally pulled away from him her whole arm was covered in drool.  Cliff wiped her up a little and I wiped the rest off and made the comment that "it was a good thing that she wasn't bothered by drool" and she replied "drool never bothered me anyway - COMPLETELY DEADPAN.  Cliff and I were nearly in tears, laughing so hard.  What a little ham! 

 

(This is a reference to the song, "Let it Go" from "Frozen.") 

Joel Update!

   Our little "bud bud" is over five months old!  Another month or so and we should be through the worst of it!  Yay Joel!  Yay US!  There have been a lot of tears around here these past 5 months... tears from Joel, tears from the girls, and tears from me, but we are doing so much better!  Joel is becoming more aware of his surroundings and more mobile and interactive every day and this is WONDERFUL!  I've always loved Joel, but now I am finding him delightful as well as lovable.  He coos and smiles and flashes those big blue eyes at me and I melt, I really do.  He is just so snugly and squishy and yummy!  Just look at those cheeks and fingers!  Delicious!  All of my children have been this way, but for some reason I thought a little boy would be different.  Silly me.  He's won me over just as everyone said he would. 

   Joel tried out our exersaucer this week and SCORE!  He loved it.  This is so great because it means I don't have to have him in the carrier 24/7 anymore like I have been.  This means I can use the bathroom and he doesn't have to tag along!  It's glorious.  Yesterday I actually SAT at the table with the girls to eat lunch!  I didn't have to rock and sway him while I tried to eat my food without dropping half of it on his head.  This is really huge, people!  The girls love it too.  Lilia really enjoys pointing out all of the different parts of the toy and talking to him at his level.  Ivy like to try and climb on it with him...

   It's just super great.  I see the future getting brighter every day!  Thank you, Joel!  Thank you for letting me put you down!!

   Look at those peepers.  We always knew our kids would have blue eyes, but just look at them!  Gorgeous! 

This was taken right after Cliff walked through the door.

   We still love holding him, too.  Joel gets especially excited when Daddy comes home to hold him.  He starts flailing his arms really quickly and hooting like a little monkey when he sees and hears Cliff.  His eyes get even bigger, (if that is possible,) and he just hoots and flails like crazy. 

   Two of the best boys in the world!

   Seriously, though!  What is better than a squishy, snugly, baby boy in a hoodie?  What?  What?? 

  Anyway.  Now that the weather is getting much colder I am truly grateful that Joel is coming through the colic.   I need smiles and laughter and flexibility as we slug through the dreary winter months.  Thank you, Joel for being so compassionate and understanding of your mama! 

As far as an update goes... Joel was over 16lbs at his 4 month appt.  He was 25 in?  maybe?  I can't remember.  Poor third child.  He is healthy and chunky.  Not as chunky as Lilia was, but more so than Ivy at this age.  I still only nurse him on one side during his feedings.  He seems more than content with that.  He is still in size 2 diapers and is wearing 6 month clothing.  He can still fit into some 3-6 month onesies.  He is starting to scoot himself backwards on the floor and has been rolling over both ways for about a month.  The minute he started rolling over from back to tummy we started putting him on his tummy for naps.  He is still in the bed with us during the night, but those days are drawing to a close.  We hope to move him to his own space after Christmas.  Not that we don't love cuddling with our little guy, but whew.  Sleep uninhibited sounds soooooooo good.  Soon enough.  

Joel has a delightful laugh and is very interested in those around him.  He watches Lilia and Ivy intently as they run circles around him.  He was watching them on his tummy in my bedroom one day and they ran out into the hallway.  He started to cry and tried to push himself in their direction.  He didn't want to be left behind!  As soon as they came back in he calmed down!  It was so sad and so sweet at the same time!  I hope they include him as they get older.  I love to see the three of them together.  I read Lilia and Ivy a book yesterday with Joel sitting on my lap and it was great.  It really way.  I hope I can do that for years and years.  We're so happy to have Joel.  As cheesy at it sounds, I really do feel complete with him here :)

Ivy-isms

   I always forget to write down all of the crazy kooky things my kids say or the adorable way they pronounce different words.  Here are a few "Ivy-isms," but only a few because it's late and I can't remember all of them...

"Leeya!" - Lilia
"eyesore" - dinosaur
"gunky" - monkey
"manas" - bananas (it used to be just "mas.")
"hold you!"  - pick me up/ hold me
"punkin" - pumpkin
"all done ___" - No more/ I'm done with this   ex:  All done diaper cream!!!  (She had a bad rash and didn't want anything else down there."
"nibbles" - *points to Lilia's nipples in the bath tub.  Lilia - "Mom!  Ivy just called my nipples, NIBBLES!!"  (She then giggled and giggled...)
"A spittup" - any time Joel even drools a little
"Onions" - Minions from "Despicable Me."


  I will try to add more when I remember them.  She is such a funny kid. 

Glimpses of the Future and What I Do Well

   Recently we have been having more and more "good days."  A good day to me entails no tears or meltdowns from me.  That is mostly the criteria.   Kids cry and meltdown at the drop of a hat, but if I can maintain composure and even smile a little too, than you had better believe it IS A GOOD DAY!  I haven't kept a record or tally or anything... more like I have noticed a gradual trend in a more pleasant direction.  I am starting to feel hopeful and excited about the future again!  Are we getting the hang of three???  Maybe!  The girls are adjusting to our new family dynamic and Joel is slooooowly, but surely coming out of his colic.  He has extended periods of wakefulness now without screaming!  So awesome!  It's AMAZING how colic vs less colic can change your whole perspective on life! 
 

  I would also attribute some of my hopefulness to a new attitude I am trying to cultivate.  I am trying to focus on the things that I am doing well and what is going RIGHT in our lives.  I'm so physically spent at the end of each day that I really can't afford the self-inflicted mental beat downs anymore.  I truly can not afford to allot much energy to negative thinking.  It may be easy to compare myself to other mothers, wives, or women, but it just doesn't help anything.  Instead I am am going to start listing and focusing on the things I do well and the things I am grateful for.  I will NOT focus on the things that aren't going well or that I don't do.  Here we go!

THINGS I DO WELL AS A MOTHER:

-I read to Lilia and Ivy every single night.  We never miss.  I make a concerted effort to spend time with each of them individually every night and we choose a couple of stories and I read and then sing to them before turning off the light.  I don't resent this routine, but cherish it.  It's a welcome final note to end the day's song.  It's peaceful and sweet.  We giggle and snuggle and I will miss this time when the kids are older.  I am proud of myself for taking the time to do this every night even when I am exhausted.

-I pray with my girls and I look for opportunities to teach them about prayer and about the gospel.  We read scripture stories together and I teach them, (more Lilia at this point,) about who we are, why we are here, and where we are going.  Lilia is developing her own little testimony and has even shared it during Sacrament meeting.  I am so proud of her and I am proud of myself for keeping up with it even when at times it seems like I am getting no where.  Lilia specifically has a testimony of prayer and that make me feel really really good.

- This is may sound silly, but I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments besides teaching my children about the gospel is teaching them to appreciate and try different foods.  Cooking a healthy meal (or multiple meals,) a day is HARD WORK, but I do it.  I want my children to be knowledgeable about food and their bodies and I want them to have a good relationship with food.  I want them to have a good attitude about trying new things when it comes to food and other aspects of life as well.  I try to introduce them to a variety of different foods.  I am NOT a short order cook and the whole family eats the same meal.

- It is extremely hard to get out of the house with three kids right now, but I make myself do it anyway.  I do it for them and I do it for me.  We go to play dates or our own playground in the neighborhood.  We go to the library.  We went to the apple orchard the other day.  I don't want my kids to lounge around in front of the T.V. ALL the time, though we do watch a fair amount of T.V.  I am proud of myself for getting them outside as much as I can.  Even if it's not as much as I would like.

-  I make art with my kids.  Again, not as often as I would like, but I DO do it.  We paint, we draw, we make play dough.  It's a mess and sometimes the prep takes three times as long as the activity, but we do it.  It's worth it to me when I see how much they enjoy it.  I could just throw in the towel and turn the T.V. back on, and some days I do, but some days I don't - I make the effort.

-  I carry Joel most of the day.  Sure, it might be easier to just set him down and let him cry all day, and heaven knows my back would probably feel better if I did that, but I don't.  I shlep him around in the Ergo almost all day long.  If that's not love, I don't know what is.

 - I try really hard not to lose my temper and yell.  This is probably the hardest thing for me right now and I'm not perfect, but I am O.K.  I don't lose my temper often and I have never spanked any of my children.  Oh I have wanted to, but I haven't and I hope I never do. 

-  This one may sound dumb too, but I make an effort to talk to my kids while we are driving around.  It is so easy to tune out kids while you are in the car and turn on the radio or the news, but I don't anymore.  I noticed a year and a half ago that Lilia really wanted to talk as soon as we go in the car.  Always.  She always wanted to talk.  I have really tried to listen while I am driving or if we don't talk we listen to music TOGETHER and we sing together.  Sometimes I am on the phone when we are driving, but lately I have been trying to ditch the phone as well.  How long is she going to WANT to talk to me in the car??

Ok - so that is the list for today.  I hope to add to it.  I don't do everything right.  There are so many things I wish I did better or wish I did at all, but I KNOW I am doing some things right.  I am not a perfect mom, but I am a GOOD mom.  That is where I am at right at this moment. 

"Meet Your Eats" Farm Tour

 My last post was a bit of a bummer, so we'll lighten things up a bit tonight with an update on our "real food" journey.  It's no secret that Charlottesville is a haven for foodies and the real food movement in general.  There are sprawling gorgeous farms everywhere you look.  It's not hard to "eat fresh, buy local."
  This past weekend the city farmer's market sponsored a "Meet Your Eats" tour of many of the farms in the area.  We bought a pass and decided to go for it!  We picked out a couple of farms that were within 15 minutes of our house and set out for a Saturday adventure!  The first farm we chose to visit was Free Union Grass farm.  Literally 17 minutes from doorstep to drive.  We got out and were greeted by a friendly farmer and some noisy pigs!  I knew right then that the girls were going to love this!
  So if you aren't familiar with the term "grass farmer or grass farming," it is generally attributed to Joel Salatin of Polyface farm in Swoope,VA.  His farm has been getting lots of attention from Michael Pollan's books, (specifically "The Omnivore's Dilemma.")  His approach to farming is that of a scientist invested in an entire ecosystem.  He recognizes that animals and the earth really have a symbiotic relationship.  If the earth is suffering the animals with suffer and vice/versa.  He considers himself a "grass farmer" because grass is literally at the root of the ecosystem.  You take care of your grass and everything else will fall into place (more or less.)  He does this by creating a poly culture of multiple animals and grasses and he rotates the animals on his pasture so no one area is over-run or destroyed.  Every animal has a specific role to plan in the system.  It's really fascinating.  Long story short - the farmers in Free Union follow the same system.  They rotate cows, chickens, ducks, goats, and pigs.  The pigs especially do a lot of the clean up for them. 

   Chicks!

   Ivy was sucking on this wooden board.  If she doesn't die of avian flu or ebola or something in the next week it will be another testament to the cleanliness of this farm's practices... or something...  I think she licked the bottom of her shoe later on in the car as well. 

 Ducks!

 Chickens!

 Laying hens!

 Cows!!  They are super huge because they are calfing right now.  The one's we took pictures of are due in a week or so.

 It was tough shlepping all of the kids around the farm and pretty hot outside too, but I'm so glad we brought the kids and made it out.  It's amazing to see what can be accomplished with some land, animals, sun, rain, and a lot of hard work.  It's also incredibly refreshing to me to see that there are still people out there that don't believe "roundup" and antibiotics are the answer to everything.

We didn't make it to all of the other farms we wanted to see as toddlers started to melt down, but we did end the day at our favorite local peach orchard and that is a success in my book.  We came home and made black bean burgers and like the good little locavores that we are, we used local heirloom tomatoes on them as well as local micro greens and local cheese!  I love C-ville!  How will we ever make ourselves leave???

Life is Hard and Life is Beautiful

  I am the kind of person that needs goals in my life or things to look forward to.  When I was in college I looked forward to breaks and tests being over with.  I looked forward to graduation.  When Cliff and I first got married I looked forward to vacations and to each move and marked time by our travels.  When we lived in Japan I looked forward to the end of each deployment and to the fantastic trips we took.  Looking forward to those trips were what got me through some really tough months alone with a baby.
  I no longer mark time by deployment schedules because Cliff is home every night on this tour.  That doesn't me I don't still need goals or things to look forward to, though.  I still look forward to trips we will take, visits from family members, and days that Cliff has off from work.  Every Monday I look forward to Friday.  I feel like I am always looking forward and forgetting to look around at "now."
   In our church we talk a lot about "finding joy in the journey."  This is so hard for me right now.  I feel like a lot of days are never-ending and monotonous in their difficulty.  At the beginning of each new day I mostly think... man I wish I could go back to bed.  But I don't.  I get up and I get things started.  My day starts with a shower if I am lucky.  If Cliff isn't going in too early he takes Joel and I shower quickly before he has to leave.  After he leaves I strap Joel onto me in the carrier and get the girls dressed and downstairs for breakfast.  There is always a bit of impatience as I struggle to get everyone fed quickly and then it's a complete free-for-all as I shlep all the kids out the door and across the street to Lilia's preschool.  Tearing Ivy away and getting her back across the street is always a battle.  Like face slapping, biting, hitting, laying in the middle of the side walk, BATTLE.  I resorted to candy corn bribery last Friday and definitely got some incredulous "looks" from one of the other moms.  Whatev.  We're in survival mode right now.   We get back in the house and I start an activity with Ivy like... coloring... or play dough... I am wearing Joel the whole time and trying to bend down and pick up the crayons she has dropped or the play dough molds or her pony dolls that she carries with her everywhere.  I last about 10 minutes and then Ivy is screaming about something (I won't let her color on the wall or the table, etc) and I give up and turn on a movie.  Just this past week we have watched "Despicable Me" with the "onions" about 18 times - no joke. 
  Joel screams if I put him down for more than 15 minutes at a time so I wear him most of the day.  Cliff wears him as soon as he walks through the door.  We figured that between the two of us wearing him and him sleeping in our arms at night, Joel is held at least 20-22 hours out of every day.   I find this somewhat ironic because I really don't consider myself an "attachment" parent, but what is more ATTACHED than being literally attached to your child all day and all night.  I need to see a chiropractor like I need oxygen, but it will have to wait a few months.  Looking forward to getting over colic.  I guess we have a more holistic view on parenting in our house.  What's best for EVERYONE is what we aim for.  If the baby is suffering the parents and siblings are suffering and that goes both ways.  If mommy and daddy are suffering, you better believe that kids are suffering too, so we try to strike a compromise...  It's our own form of balance.  We do what works until it doesn't and then we move on and try something new.  Sometimes kids are left crying and screaming while mommy walks away for 15 minutes or takes a shower.  Sometimes mommy is in tears because she can't move her neck from sleeping so awkwardly holding a baby all night.  It's give and take.  But mostly give.  Who am I kidding.
  I figure crying screaming children are much better off than dead children or even dead parents.  We are all alive and that is a success.  If whatever you are doing is causing you to resent your child, you need to do something else.  Seriously.  
  I look forward to nap time/ quiet time when the girls go to their rooms and sleep/ stay quiet for two hours every day.  This is a major milestone of the day.  If I get to nap time I am more than halfway through the day!  Cliff gets home just a couple of hours after nap time!  I get the kids up from naps around 3:00 or 3:30.  I usually try to take a nap myself, but Joel doesn't usually cooperate.  Like I said, he has to be held ALL.THE. TIME.   We'll get there.  I know he will be better by 5 or 6 months.  That is what I am looking forward to right now.
  I sometimes miss just having the girls.  Before I was pregnant we went and DID so many things together.  I felt so confident in my mothering abilities when it came to two kids.  We laughed!  We learned!  We played!  We had routines and they worked!  I have hope that three will someday be this way too, but right now it is not.  Someone is always being neglected.  We don't leave the house as often as I would like.  There are a lot more tears than there used to be from everyone.  I had a lot of mommy guilt over this from my pregnancy and now tough baby, but now it just is what it is.  Standards have been lowered.  And lowered again.  

When Cliff gets home I hand him the kids and I get busy with dinner.  I LOVE making dinner or ANY MEAL that does not involve wearing a baby.  After dinner I take the girls upstairs and I bathe them and dress them in their pajamas and then I put them to bed with a story and a song.  After they are in bed and I have nursed Joel one last time for the day, Cliff takes him while I head downstairs to clean up and do all of the dishes.  I relish this part of the day because it is just ME.  I never thought I would look forward to doing dishes, but that is where I am right now.  It's actually really interesting how our (Cliff and my,) roles have reversed since Joel was born.  When I was pregnant and miserably sick I used to go to bed right after dinner.  Cliff bathed both girls, put them to bed, and cleaned up downstairs.  He usually made the dinner too.  Now it is the complete opposite.  Cliff goes to bed right after dinner and holds Joel for most of the night.  He is confined to the bed with a baby - just outside of him rather than in his belly.

  So finding joy is the journey... whew.  It's not something that just happens.  These past few weeks I have actually found many moments of joy, BUT! I have to be actively seeking them and I think the key word here is active.  When Lilia plays with Joel and sings to him and he SMILES!  That is joyful.  When I make it across the street from preschool with all three kids in tow and Ivy isn't melting down - that is joyful.  When the girls are dancing around the front room or flailing their arms pretending to fly and laughing like hyenas?  That is joy.  Joy in our house is the small victories right now.  Joel sitting in his bouncy chair while I eat lunch unencumbered for 15 minutes is a small victory.  Watching the girls play "mermaid" in the bath tub and splash and play is hilarious and fun.  Reading to Lilia at night about little witches and fairies and Peter Pan and watching her eyes grow large at the description of Neverland and Captain Hook?  These moments are wonderful and make most of the agony worth it.  Ivy turning to me and saying "Mommy?  Song?  Temple song please?"  Hearing her say every morning now "Hi mommy! Hi mommy!  HI MOMMY!!!"  These moments are beautiful and precious.  Sometimes I think parenting is an inordinate amount of really hard work for fleeting moments of awe and wonder. 

 I don't have an overarching theme to this post.  It's nearly stream of conscience, but I do want to write and remember that most days DO have wonderful moments that make it worth it.  The days are getting BETTER overall and not worse.  I DO have hope and perspective after two colicky children.  I still very much look forward to vacations and holidays and visits from my mom, but I DO have good moments every day too. 

 All three looking at the camera! 

 Look!  They are so cute!  Some of the time :)

I have gotten to spend more time getting to know Ivy recently.  Joel makes it difficult for us to have real quality time together, but we sure do try.  She is probably having the hardest time with all of these family adjustments.  

Sometimes the girls play really well together and when this happens my heart SINGS and I run for the camera.  Usually I am too late for photographic evidence, but I always try :)