Lilia Humor

I just have to write this down so that I don't forget... Lilia said the funniest thing tonight and it may have been her first true intentional joke!  A little background so that you understand...

 Tonight after baths we were gathering all of the kids into Lilia's room for our evening family prayer and of course it was chaos as usual.  Ivy was jumping all over the place, Joel was trying to crawl out of Cliff's arms, and Lilia was running up and down the hallway pretending to be "Elsa" from the movie "Frozen," and making comments about how she "had to keep her power inside, and that she just didn't want to hurt anyone else!"  Pinning her down for a prayer was all but impossible.  We finally got her into the room and she went immediately over to Joel to kiss on him and give him a few cuddles.  He was laughing and drooling up a storm and when Lilia finally pulled away from him her whole arm was covered in drool.  Cliff wiped her up a little and I wiped the rest off and made the comment that "it was a good thing that she wasn't bothered by drool" and she replied "drool never bothered me anyway - COMPLETELY DEADPAN.  Cliff and I were nearly in tears, laughing so hard.  What a little ham! 

 

(This is a reference to the song, "Let it Go" from "Frozen.") 

Joel Update!

   Our little "bud bud" is over five months old!  Another month or so and we should be through the worst of it!  Yay Joel!  Yay US!  There have been a lot of tears around here these past 5 months... tears from Joel, tears from the girls, and tears from me, but we are doing so much better!  Joel is becoming more aware of his surroundings and more mobile and interactive every day and this is WONDERFUL!  I've always loved Joel, but now I am finding him delightful as well as lovable.  He coos and smiles and flashes those big blue eyes at me and I melt, I really do.  He is just so snugly and squishy and yummy!  Just look at those cheeks and fingers!  Delicious!  All of my children have been this way, but for some reason I thought a little boy would be different.  Silly me.  He's won me over just as everyone said he would. 

   Joel tried out our exersaucer this week and SCORE!  He loved it.  This is so great because it means I don't have to have him in the carrier 24/7 anymore like I have been.  This means I can use the bathroom and he doesn't have to tag along!  It's glorious.  Yesterday I actually SAT at the table with the girls to eat lunch!  I didn't have to rock and sway him while I tried to eat my food without dropping half of it on his head.  This is really huge, people!  The girls love it too.  Lilia really enjoys pointing out all of the different parts of the toy and talking to him at his level.  Ivy like to try and climb on it with him...

   It's just super great.  I see the future getting brighter every day!  Thank you, Joel!  Thank you for letting me put you down!!

   Look at those peepers.  We always knew our kids would have blue eyes, but just look at them!  Gorgeous! 

This was taken right after Cliff walked through the door.

   We still love holding him, too.  Joel gets especially excited when Daddy comes home to hold him.  He starts flailing his arms really quickly and hooting like a little monkey when he sees and hears Cliff.  His eyes get even bigger, (if that is possible,) and he just hoots and flails like crazy. 

   Two of the best boys in the world!

   Seriously, though!  What is better than a squishy, snugly, baby boy in a hoodie?  What?  What?? 

  Anyway.  Now that the weather is getting much colder I am truly grateful that Joel is coming through the colic.   I need smiles and laughter and flexibility as we slug through the dreary winter months.  Thank you, Joel for being so compassionate and understanding of your mama! 

As far as an update goes... Joel was over 16lbs at his 4 month appt.  He was 25 in?  maybe?  I can't remember.  Poor third child.  He is healthy and chunky.  Not as chunky as Lilia was, but more so than Ivy at this age.  I still only nurse him on one side during his feedings.  He seems more than content with that.  He is still in size 2 diapers and is wearing 6 month clothing.  He can still fit into some 3-6 month onesies.  He is starting to scoot himself backwards on the floor and has been rolling over both ways for about a month.  The minute he started rolling over from back to tummy we started putting him on his tummy for naps.  He is still in the bed with us during the night, but those days are drawing to a close.  We hope to move him to his own space after Christmas.  Not that we don't love cuddling with our little guy, but whew.  Sleep uninhibited sounds soooooooo good.  Soon enough.  

Joel has a delightful laugh and is very interested in those around him.  He watches Lilia and Ivy intently as they run circles around him.  He was watching them on his tummy in my bedroom one day and they ran out into the hallway.  He started to cry and tried to push himself in their direction.  He didn't want to be left behind!  As soon as they came back in he calmed down!  It was so sad and so sweet at the same time!  I hope they include him as they get older.  I love to see the three of them together.  I read Lilia and Ivy a book yesterday with Joel sitting on my lap and it was great.  It really way.  I hope I can do that for years and years.  We're so happy to have Joel.  As cheesy at it sounds, I really do feel complete with him here :)

Ivy-isms

   I always forget to write down all of the crazy kooky things my kids say or the adorable way they pronounce different words.  Here are a few "Ivy-isms," but only a few because it's late and I can't remember all of them...

"Leeya!" - Lilia
"eyesore" - dinosaur
"gunky" - monkey
"manas" - bananas (it used to be just "mas.")
"hold you!"  - pick me up/ hold me
"punkin" - pumpkin
"all done ___" - No more/ I'm done with this   ex:  All done diaper cream!!!  (She had a bad rash and didn't want anything else down there."
"nibbles" - *points to Lilia's nipples in the bath tub.  Lilia - "Mom!  Ivy just called my nipples, NIBBLES!!"  (She then giggled and giggled...)
"A spittup" - any time Joel even drools a little
"Onions" - Minions from "Despicable Me."


  I will try to add more when I remember them.  She is such a funny kid. 

Glimpses of the Future and What I Do Well

   Recently we have been having more and more "good days."  A good day to me entails no tears or meltdowns from me.  That is mostly the criteria.   Kids cry and meltdown at the drop of a hat, but if I can maintain composure and even smile a little too, than you had better believe it IS A GOOD DAY!  I haven't kept a record or tally or anything... more like I have noticed a gradual trend in a more pleasant direction.  I am starting to feel hopeful and excited about the future again!  Are we getting the hang of three???  Maybe!  The girls are adjusting to our new family dynamic and Joel is slooooowly, but surely coming out of his colic.  He has extended periods of wakefulness now without screaming!  So awesome!  It's AMAZING how colic vs less colic can change your whole perspective on life! 
 

  I would also attribute some of my hopefulness to a new attitude I am trying to cultivate.  I am trying to focus on the things that I am doing well and what is going RIGHT in our lives.  I'm so physically spent at the end of each day that I really can't afford the self-inflicted mental beat downs anymore.  I truly can not afford to allot much energy to negative thinking.  It may be easy to compare myself to other mothers, wives, or women, but it just doesn't help anything.  Instead I am am going to start listing and focusing on the things I do well and the things I am grateful for.  I will NOT focus on the things that aren't going well or that I don't do.  Here we go!

THINGS I DO WELL AS A MOTHER:

-I read to Lilia and Ivy every single night.  We never miss.  I make a concerted effort to spend time with each of them individually every night and we choose a couple of stories and I read and then sing to them before turning off the light.  I don't resent this routine, but cherish it.  It's a welcome final note to end the day's song.  It's peaceful and sweet.  We giggle and snuggle and I will miss this time when the kids are older.  I am proud of myself for taking the time to do this every night even when I am exhausted.

-I pray with my girls and I look for opportunities to teach them about prayer and about the gospel.  We read scripture stories together and I teach them, (more Lilia at this point,) about who we are, why we are here, and where we are going.  Lilia is developing her own little testimony and has even shared it during Sacrament meeting.  I am so proud of her and I am proud of myself for keeping up with it even when at times it seems like I am getting no where.  Lilia specifically has a testimony of prayer and that make me feel really really good.

- This is may sound silly, but I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments besides teaching my children about the gospel is teaching them to appreciate and try different foods.  Cooking a healthy meal (or multiple meals,) a day is HARD WORK, but I do it.  I want my children to be knowledgeable about food and their bodies and I want them to have a good relationship with food.  I want them to have a good attitude about trying new things when it comes to food and other aspects of life as well.  I try to introduce them to a variety of different foods.  I am NOT a short order cook and the whole family eats the same meal.

- It is extremely hard to get out of the house with three kids right now, but I make myself do it anyway.  I do it for them and I do it for me.  We go to play dates or our own playground in the neighborhood.  We go to the library.  We went to the apple orchard the other day.  I don't want my kids to lounge around in front of the T.V. ALL the time, though we do watch a fair amount of T.V.  I am proud of myself for getting them outside as much as I can.  Even if it's not as much as I would like.

-  I make art with my kids.  Again, not as often as I would like, but I DO do it.  We paint, we draw, we make play dough.  It's a mess and sometimes the prep takes three times as long as the activity, but we do it.  It's worth it to me when I see how much they enjoy it.  I could just throw in the towel and turn the T.V. back on, and some days I do, but some days I don't - I make the effort.

-  I carry Joel most of the day.  Sure, it might be easier to just set him down and let him cry all day, and heaven knows my back would probably feel better if I did that, but I don't.  I shlep him around in the Ergo almost all day long.  If that's not love, I don't know what is.

 - I try really hard not to lose my temper and yell.  This is probably the hardest thing for me right now and I'm not perfect, but I am O.K.  I don't lose my temper often and I have never spanked any of my children.  Oh I have wanted to, but I haven't and I hope I never do. 

-  This one may sound dumb too, but I make an effort to talk to my kids while we are driving around.  It is so easy to tune out kids while you are in the car and turn on the radio or the news, but I don't anymore.  I noticed a year and a half ago that Lilia really wanted to talk as soon as we go in the car.  Always.  She always wanted to talk.  I have really tried to listen while I am driving or if we don't talk we listen to music TOGETHER and we sing together.  Sometimes I am on the phone when we are driving, but lately I have been trying to ditch the phone as well.  How long is she going to WANT to talk to me in the car??

Ok - so that is the list for today.  I hope to add to it.  I don't do everything right.  There are so many things I wish I did better or wish I did at all, but I KNOW I am doing some things right.  I am not a perfect mom, but I am a GOOD mom.  That is where I am at right at this moment. 

"Meet Your Eats" Farm Tour

 My last post was a bit of a bummer, so we'll lighten things up a bit tonight with an update on our "real food" journey.  It's no secret that Charlottesville is a haven for foodies and the real food movement in general.  There are sprawling gorgeous farms everywhere you look.  It's not hard to "eat fresh, buy local."
  This past weekend the city farmer's market sponsored a "Meet Your Eats" tour of many of the farms in the area.  We bought a pass and decided to go for it!  We picked out a couple of farms that were within 15 minutes of our house and set out for a Saturday adventure!  The first farm we chose to visit was Free Union Grass farm.  Literally 17 minutes from doorstep to drive.  We got out and were greeted by a friendly farmer and some noisy pigs!  I knew right then that the girls were going to love this!
  So if you aren't familiar with the term "grass farmer or grass farming," it is generally attributed to Joel Salatin of Polyface farm in Swoope,VA.  His farm has been getting lots of attention from Michael Pollan's books, (specifically "The Omnivore's Dilemma.")  His approach to farming is that of a scientist invested in an entire ecosystem.  He recognizes that animals and the earth really have a symbiotic relationship.  If the earth is suffering the animals with suffer and vice/versa.  He considers himself a "grass farmer" because grass is literally at the root of the ecosystem.  You take care of your grass and everything else will fall into place (more or less.)  He does this by creating a poly culture of multiple animals and grasses and he rotates the animals on his pasture so no one area is over-run or destroyed.  Every animal has a specific role to plan in the system.  It's really fascinating.  Long story short - the farmers in Free Union follow the same system.  They rotate cows, chickens, ducks, goats, and pigs.  The pigs especially do a lot of the clean up for them. 

   Chicks!

   Ivy was sucking on this wooden board.  If she doesn't die of avian flu or ebola or something in the next week it will be another testament to the cleanliness of this farm's practices... or something...  I think she licked the bottom of her shoe later on in the car as well. 

 Ducks!

 Chickens!

 Laying hens!

 Cows!!  They are super huge because they are calfing right now.  The one's we took pictures of are due in a week or so.

 It was tough shlepping all of the kids around the farm and pretty hot outside too, but I'm so glad we brought the kids and made it out.  It's amazing to see what can be accomplished with some land, animals, sun, rain, and a lot of hard work.  It's also incredibly refreshing to me to see that there are still people out there that don't believe "roundup" and antibiotics are the answer to everything.

We didn't make it to all of the other farms we wanted to see as toddlers started to melt down, but we did end the day at our favorite local peach orchard and that is a success in my book.  We came home and made black bean burgers and like the good little locavores that we are, we used local heirloom tomatoes on them as well as local micro greens and local cheese!  I love C-ville!  How will we ever make ourselves leave???

Life is Hard and Life is Beautiful

  I am the kind of person that needs goals in my life or things to look forward to.  When I was in college I looked forward to breaks and tests being over with.  I looked forward to graduation.  When Cliff and I first got married I looked forward to vacations and to each move and marked time by our travels.  When we lived in Japan I looked forward to the end of each deployment and to the fantastic trips we took.  Looking forward to those trips were what got me through some really tough months alone with a baby.
  I no longer mark time by deployment schedules because Cliff is home every night on this tour.  That doesn't me I don't still need goals or things to look forward to, though.  I still look forward to trips we will take, visits from family members, and days that Cliff has off from work.  Every Monday I look forward to Friday.  I feel like I am always looking forward and forgetting to look around at "now."
   In our church we talk a lot about "finding joy in the journey."  This is so hard for me right now.  I feel like a lot of days are never-ending and monotonous in their difficulty.  At the beginning of each new day I mostly think... man I wish I could go back to bed.  But I don't.  I get up and I get things started.  My day starts with a shower if I am lucky.  If Cliff isn't going in too early he takes Joel and I shower quickly before he has to leave.  After he leaves I strap Joel onto me in the carrier and get the girls dressed and downstairs for breakfast.  There is always a bit of impatience as I struggle to get everyone fed quickly and then it's a complete free-for-all as I shlep all the kids out the door and across the street to Lilia's preschool.  Tearing Ivy away and getting her back across the street is always a battle.  Like face slapping, biting, hitting, laying in the middle of the side walk, BATTLE.  I resorted to candy corn bribery last Friday and definitely got some incredulous "looks" from one of the other moms.  Whatev.  We're in survival mode right now.   We get back in the house and I start an activity with Ivy like... coloring... or play dough... I am wearing Joel the whole time and trying to bend down and pick up the crayons she has dropped or the play dough molds or her pony dolls that she carries with her everywhere.  I last about 10 minutes and then Ivy is screaming about something (I won't let her color on the wall or the table, etc) and I give up and turn on a movie.  Just this past week we have watched "Despicable Me" with the "onions" about 18 times - no joke. 
  Joel screams if I put him down for more than 15 minutes at a time so I wear him most of the day.  Cliff wears him as soon as he walks through the door.  We figured that between the two of us wearing him and him sleeping in our arms at night, Joel is held at least 20-22 hours out of every day.   I find this somewhat ironic because I really don't consider myself an "attachment" parent, but what is more ATTACHED than being literally attached to your child all day and all night.  I need to see a chiropractor like I need oxygen, but it will have to wait a few months.  Looking forward to getting over colic.  I guess we have a more holistic view on parenting in our house.  What's best for EVERYONE is what we aim for.  If the baby is suffering the parents and siblings are suffering and that goes both ways.  If mommy and daddy are suffering, you better believe that kids are suffering too, so we try to strike a compromise...  It's our own form of balance.  We do what works until it doesn't and then we move on and try something new.  Sometimes kids are left crying and screaming while mommy walks away for 15 minutes or takes a shower.  Sometimes mommy is in tears because she can't move her neck from sleeping so awkwardly holding a baby all night.  It's give and take.  But mostly give.  Who am I kidding.
  I figure crying screaming children are much better off than dead children or even dead parents.  We are all alive and that is a success.  If whatever you are doing is causing you to resent your child, you need to do something else.  Seriously.  
  I look forward to nap time/ quiet time when the girls go to their rooms and sleep/ stay quiet for two hours every day.  This is a major milestone of the day.  If I get to nap time I am more than halfway through the day!  Cliff gets home just a couple of hours after nap time!  I get the kids up from naps around 3:00 or 3:30.  I usually try to take a nap myself, but Joel doesn't usually cooperate.  Like I said, he has to be held ALL.THE. TIME.   We'll get there.  I know he will be better by 5 or 6 months.  That is what I am looking forward to right now.
  I sometimes miss just having the girls.  Before I was pregnant we went and DID so many things together.  I felt so confident in my mothering abilities when it came to two kids.  We laughed!  We learned!  We played!  We had routines and they worked!  I have hope that three will someday be this way too, but right now it is not.  Someone is always being neglected.  We don't leave the house as often as I would like.  There are a lot more tears than there used to be from everyone.  I had a lot of mommy guilt over this from my pregnancy and now tough baby, but now it just is what it is.  Standards have been lowered.  And lowered again.  

When Cliff gets home I hand him the kids and I get busy with dinner.  I LOVE making dinner or ANY MEAL that does not involve wearing a baby.  After dinner I take the girls upstairs and I bathe them and dress them in their pajamas and then I put them to bed with a story and a song.  After they are in bed and I have nursed Joel one last time for the day, Cliff takes him while I head downstairs to clean up and do all of the dishes.  I relish this part of the day because it is just ME.  I never thought I would look forward to doing dishes, but that is where I am right now.  It's actually really interesting how our (Cliff and my,) roles have reversed since Joel was born.  When I was pregnant and miserably sick I used to go to bed right after dinner.  Cliff bathed both girls, put them to bed, and cleaned up downstairs.  He usually made the dinner too.  Now it is the complete opposite.  Cliff goes to bed right after dinner and holds Joel for most of the night.  He is confined to the bed with a baby - just outside of him rather than in his belly.

  So finding joy is the journey... whew.  It's not something that just happens.  These past few weeks I have actually found many moments of joy, BUT! I have to be actively seeking them and I think the key word here is active.  When Lilia plays with Joel and sings to him and he SMILES!  That is joyful.  When I make it across the street from preschool with all three kids in tow and Ivy isn't melting down - that is joyful.  When the girls are dancing around the front room or flailing their arms pretending to fly and laughing like hyenas?  That is joy.  Joy in our house is the small victories right now.  Joel sitting in his bouncy chair while I eat lunch unencumbered for 15 minutes is a small victory.  Watching the girls play "mermaid" in the bath tub and splash and play is hilarious and fun.  Reading to Lilia at night about little witches and fairies and Peter Pan and watching her eyes grow large at the description of Neverland and Captain Hook?  These moments are wonderful and make most of the agony worth it.  Ivy turning to me and saying "Mommy?  Song?  Temple song please?"  Hearing her say every morning now "Hi mommy! Hi mommy!  HI MOMMY!!!"  These moments are beautiful and precious.  Sometimes I think parenting is an inordinate amount of really hard work for fleeting moments of awe and wonder. 

 I don't have an overarching theme to this post.  It's nearly stream of conscience, but I do want to write and remember that most days DO have wonderful moments that make it worth it.  The days are getting BETTER overall and not worse.  I DO have hope and perspective after two colicky children.  I still very much look forward to vacations and holidays and visits from my mom, but I DO have good moments every day too. 

 All three looking at the camera! 

 Look!  They are so cute!  Some of the time :)

I have gotten to spend more time getting to know Ivy recently.  Joel makes it difficult for us to have real quality time together, but we sure do try.  She is probably having the hardest time with all of these family adjustments.  

Sometimes the girls play really well together and when this happens my heart SINGS and I run for the camera.  Usually I am too late for photographic evidence, but I always try :) 

Ivy is Two!

   Another year has passed and our Ivy girl has completed her second year in this world.  I haven't been great at documenting this past year and I honestly can't remember the last time she had an update...  Poor girl is a middle child through and through!  Not really, though.  I may not document her life the way I would like to, but I could NEVER forget this kid even for a minute.  She wouldn't let me!  Ivy is our crazy DRAMATIC rambunctious MANIACAL goofy girl.  She has developed so much personality this past year and it floods our home with laughter and tears on a very regular basis. 

  I know you should never compare your children, but I just can't help but wonder at the amazing differences between my daughters.  Lilia is thoughtful and gentle and social.  Ivy is wild and energetic and sooooo so curious.  She wants to study the bugs on the sidewalk and poke them.  She collects rocks and I find them all over the house.

  She wants to run headlong into the street or the woods or your arms.  If she wants to do something she does it all the way.  If she doesn't want to do something - good luck trying to change her mind! 

She LOVES her older sister... most of the time.  She copies her every move.  It is adorable to watch them play together.  Ivy is pretty good to take on the roles that Lilia gives her, (sick patient, baby, student, puppy, etc) but she can also hold her own with big sis.  Ivy likes to tackle Lilia and climb all over her.  She is feisty and quick and I sometimes feel a little bad for Lilia, when the Ivy tornado is on the loose!

 She had swim lessons this summer and she was great.  While she didn't absolutely love getting her face wet, it didn't bother her the way it did most of the kids in the class.  She would take off into the water until it swallowed her up and I had to scoop her out!  You would think tumbling under would frighten a toddler, but obviously not or not enough, because she would just do it all over again.  Not content to sit and float with the other kids, she wanted to be on the move.  That is pretty much Ivy.  She doesn't want to stop and smell the roses.  She wants to go and go and go. 

 She has a wonderful laugh.  It's both hilarious and a little maniacal.  It's totally infectious.  I think she should voice a villain in a movie.  Maniacal cackle like you've never heard before.  She is also talking up a storm, but we only understand about a third of what she says.  SHE knows what she is saying... we just haven't caught up.  We are trying, though, and I KNOW when we finally catch up it will be hilarious.   She loves to sing and has wonderful recall.  She is memorizing the words to songs that she has only heard a couple of times.  It's adorable to watch and listen to her sing.  Her favorite song at the moment is "I love to see the temple" followed closely by "Down by the bay." 

   Ivy is a pretty good little eater.  She is no where near Lilia as far as adventurous eating goes, but then Lilia is more adventurous than a lot of the adults I know, so it's not a fair comparison.  For a toddler, we think Ivy is eating well.  She LOVES green smoothies and it doesn't seem to matter what I put in them - kale, spinach, avocado, etc.  She will eat any fruit, but only a few veggies that aren't in smoothie form.  All berries are called "strawbees."  As for veggies, carrots and bell pepper are usually safe.  She rarely eats meat.  She LOVES hummus and re-fried beans.  She calls hummus "humpins."  She also love guacamole.  She will eat any kind of cheese - even Gorgonzola.  She loves the palak paneer (creamed spinach,) at our favorite Indian restaurant.  She loves cashews and peanuts too. 

   Ivy is a great sleeper.  She naps for two hours every day and she goes to bed so easily every night.  She never seems to wake up during the night which is also very different from Lilia.  Ivy stays in almost the exact same position all night long.  We find her just the way we left her - on her tummy with her stuffed dragon clutched tight.  She used to keep her legs bunched underneath her with her bottom sticking up in the air, but now she's just a straight stick.  Her bedtime routine includes a story or two, prayer, a song and quick "rock" before she says "bed?" "sleep?" and kisses me and leaps out of my arms into her crib.  I'm grateful that she sleeps well right now and hope it lasts.  It's good for her and it's good for me! 

   Ivy loves her grandparents and talks about them all the time.  She was so cute when everyone came up to visit for Joel's blessing.  She was like a little ping pong ball bouncing from lap to lap. 

  Ivy loves technology so we got her a toy phone for one of her birthday presents.  She likes it alright, but knows it's not the real thing.  No i-pad or smartphone is safe when she is near.  She knows how to unlock just about any device and will call the Himalayas before you know what hit you.  It's better to keep your devices hidden when she is around.  Kindly people at church let her look or play with their phones even after we try to warn them and before they can turn around she has deleted their calendars and scrambled their address books.  

  We also got Ivy a plush "toothless" doll from the movie "How to Train Your Dragon."  Ivy LOVES this movie, which is kind of funny to us as Lilia did at this age too.  I would think it would be frightening to a small child, but not so!  She LOVES the "dragon movie" and we watch it all. the. time.  I actually went out and bought the T.V. series after Joel was born and it has been a fantastic trick to have up my sleeve on tough days with our new baby.  Ivy loves to chase Lilia around the house with her dragon, roaring all the way.  Sometimes she chases without the dragon.  Sometimes we just think she likes to hear herself roar. 

eating a container of "humpins." 

  I am sure I am forgetting a millions things I wanted to write about Ivy, but I am tired.  Those things will have to wait.  We love her so much, though.  Ivy is a handful, but I wouldn't trade her laughter or feisty little spirit for anything.  She has made our lives so much more interesting.